Pushing the Sexual Envelope


For many people sexual intercourse is an intimate activity shared between two loved ones, for others it is a sexual release between two people.  Some people feel that it is an expression of love and others are fulfilling an instinctual desire.  Whatever your reasons for having sex, keeping things interesting as a relationship progresses over time is essential to prolonged and continued sexual activity. 

What makes sex such an interesting thing is that we tend to take on the actions and roles of our partners during sex.  For example some people prefer to have slow, soft intimate kissing and others prefer to have harder, rougher sex.  When two people begin their relationships with one another, we tend to be focused on what the other person likes, or is used to.  We adopt their physical desires without thinking much about our own because we want to make them happy. 

But over time ignoring your sexual desires, or only fulfilling your partners needs and not your own leads to resentment.  In time that builds into a lack of sexual desire and a decrease in intimacy within the relationship.  For many people they accept this fact as part of life and sacrifice their sexual desires all together, but for others it signifies the end of a relationship and time to move on. 

In order for everyone to be happy, there must be open communications between two sexual partners.  Openly discuss what it is that the other person likes or dislikes and a willingness to explore.  In most cases the sensation of pleasing your sexual partner brings on so much excitement for yourself that the sex is not only enjoyable it is downright fantastic.  Consistently pushing that sexual envelope brings new and exciting things into the bedroom, and the exploration shared between the two of you renews your love for one another.

Pushing the sexual envelope does not have to mean stepping into the realm of kinky sex, but allowing yourself to ‘let go’ sexually leads to exciting new intimate things.  Every person’s sex life is different, so pushing the envelope is different for everyone.  The point isn’t to do one act or another, but to show your loved one that you are willing to try, willing to explore and that you still want that shared intimacy you used to have.  Be open to the ideas that your partner has and be willing to try them, its only sex after all.  Being willing to turn on your lover is all that it takes.  This is the person you love, who cares what it is that turns them on in the privacy of your own home.  Think of it as playing a role, one that will ultimately lead you and your lover to a closer, more intimate relationship in the long run. 

If expanding your sexual behavior is uncomfortable for you, or you fear your partner will think differently of you, the studies have shown those feelings are just a bump in the road to sexual happiness.  85% of the time, lovers rate their sexual relationships far higher when the envelope is being pushed, with odds like that, it is certainly worth the try.

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